Sticky Fingers...Scared Straight

I know preschoolers don't get the whole 'stealing' concept unless we teach it to them. Even after we teach them right from wrong, they occasionally forget. They also take our words literally, not understanding that there is really no difference between walking out of a store with a toy you haven't paid for and walking out of a store with a toy hidden in mommy's purse that you haven't paid for.



When Sophie was three, Kev and I took her on an errand to Target.  While we checked out camping supplies in Sporting Goods, Sophie sat contentedly in the shopping cart with a toy she'd gotten off a shelf.  We were so absorbed, we didn't see little Miss Sticky Fingers at work. After the shopping expedition, we wound up at TGI Fridays for a bite to eat and I reached into my purse for the crayons and paper I'd brought along (to help entertain Sophie-it's also a great excuse for me to doodle instead of inhaling appetizers) and pulled out the toy from Target. Little Miss Sticky Fingers apparently couldn't find a better place to hide the toy but in my purse and I'd unknowingly walked past a security guard with stolen merchandise on my person. Can you imagine getting busted for shoplifting a yellow, talking Teletubby? Honestly.

History has repeated itself....

Sophie, now nine, needed a new glove for softball and Kevin and I found ourselves standing in a sporting-goods department (once again) debating the merits of potential purchases (only this time it was the size and quality of lavender versus standard brown leather softball gloves, which is beside the point). After twenty minutes, Allie started to seriously melt down. Bored, she ran from bin to bin pulling out foam balls, wiffle balls, and tennis balls, then rolling them down the aisles. I took the balls away and returned them to the bins. She asked if we could purchase one. I reminded her that she'd just had a birthday and didn't need another ball. We finally got out of the store, sans ball, and went home...which is where things got really interesting.

I was standing in the kitchen when Allie passed by on her way out to the backyard. She was tossing a golf ball sized orange foam ball into the air and catching it as she walked. (Not bad for a four year old, great eye-hand coordination, don't you think?) I never would have noticed the ball had it not been the color of a traffic cone...clearly Allie needs to work on her subtlety. I knew I'd never seen that particular ball in our house before.

"Allie, is that ball one of yours?" I asked.

"Yep." She said and tossed it into the air.

"Where did you get it?"

"At the store." She didn't even look at me, just kept tossing it into the air, not a care in the world.

"You mean the store we went to with dad and sis' today?" I asked.

"Yep." She didn't miss a beat, didn't look up at me, just continued walking toward the back door.

"Did dad buy that for you?" I asked, thinking I'd missed something.

"No." She said.

"Who did?"

"Nobody."

"You walked out of the store with that ball without paying for it?" I asked, in the sternest voice I could muster.

"No," She replied, totally clueless as to what the problem was. "I put it in your blue bag from the other store."

She clearly had no concept of what she had done. In her mind, she hadn't stolen anything. She saw it, wanted it, stuck it my shopping bag and I'd walked out with it. No big deal. I really do NOT like being the vehicle for my children's preschool thievery, by the way. I hesitated for a split second, thinking about the best way to handle her shoplifting, and she disappeared into the backyard, no worse for wear, still oblivious that there was a problem. I knew we needed a big impact, a 'SCARED STRAIGHT' tactic, if you will. I called Kevin into the kitchen and told him what had happened. He called Allie back into the house and the game was on..

"Allie, where did you get that ball?" He asked.

"The store." She said. This time, though, she was looking a bit uncomfortable, suspicious at all the attention the little ball was getting.

"You put it in mom's bag without paying for it?" He asked.

"Yeeesssss." She said, slowly.

"That' stealing, Allison. It's wrong and you know that, don't you?
He waited for an answer but she didn't say anything.

"Okay. I'm going to have to call the kiddy police, Allie. I'm very sorry but you broke the law." He reached for the phone.
"Please don't do it! Daddy, I don't want to go to jail. Please don't call." she hollered.

I bit my lip to keep from laughing. Kevin began to speak into the phone.

"Hi, is this the kiddy police? Oh good. I have a little girl here, name's Allison, she stole from the store today." He followed this with a bunch of , "Yes. Uh-huh. Okay. See you soon." Then he hung up.

"Okay, Allie. Whenever you take something out of a store without paying for it, its stealing. It is breaking the law. Even if you hide it in mom's bag, its still stealing. Do you understood?"
She looked at him, tearfully and nodded her head in shame.
"What do you have to say about that?" He asked.

"I don't know," She looked at her feet. "Can I have a cookie?"

Just like Allie to change the subject halfway through a hot topic, hoping to distract us. Kevin, however, was totally prepared for this and walked out of the room to let me deal with the cookie situation.

"No. You just ate. You aren't having another cookie, Allie." I told her, "Besides, your dad was talking to you about stealing and-"I was interrupted by knock on our front door.
Allie jumped about a foot and I realized what Kevin was up to.

"Uh-oh, Allie. I think that's the kiddy police at the door!" I said.

"No!" she wailed. "I don't want them to take me to kiddy jail!" She flung her arms around me, and of course, I started feeling really terrible. I don't want to traumatize the kid, we needed to make this a big deal so she never forgot it and did it again.

"I'm sorry, Al." I walked her over to the front door, where her dad was standing, poking his head out and talking to nobody. Allie, however, wouldn't get close enough to the door to notice she was being tricked.

"Yes, officer. Yes, Allie's here. Oh, you want to take her to kiddy jail, now?"
"NOOOOOOO! MOM! DAD! Don't let them take me!!!" Allie was petrified.

Kevin took note of her hysteria and continued with the ruse.

"Yes, officer. Yes, I really do think that Allie learned her lesson. I don't think she'll ever steal anything again." He leaned around the door and said to Allie, "You won't ever steal again?"

She shook her head, vehemently.

"You're sorry?" He asked her.

She nodded her head up and down.

"Okay, thank you for letting this one slide, officer. She promises she won't ever steal again and I think she's telling the truth, so I agree with you, she doesn't need to go to jail this time. I'll let her know that next time you won't let her off the hook. Thanks, again. Bye." Kevin shut the door, but he didn't look over at us, he turned toward the wall so we couldn't see his expression. His shoulders shook, so I knew he was laughing silently which set me off and I bit my lip.

"I don't have to go to jail?" Allie asked, suspiciously, clearly scared silly.

"I think we must have gotten a really nice kiddy cop." I told her, "You got lucky."

She sighed and closed her eyes, still clutching my legs. Then she looked up at me.

"Then, can I have a cookie now?"

Back to the old drawing board....