Hot Off the Press: Barbie's Cankles

Newsflash: Barbie has CANKLES. Cankles? Young people are dying in Afghanistan and Iraq, the economy is about as fragile as the bones of an 80 year old woman with osteoperosis (oh, yeah...and she won't be seeing a 'cost of living' increase in her social security checks this year) but HLN is hashing out the circumference of Barbie's ankles.


You want cankles? I had elephantitis of the ankles at nine months pregnant...we're talking ankles so big I could wear turtleneck sweaters as leg warmers, people. Barbie's ankles were something to be envied- not criticized. Wait a minute....my youngest child is now four years old and I still don't have Barbie-like ankles...neither does my four year old and her ankles are teeny!


What is it with this preoccupation with the size of a woman's body? Jessica Simpson gets hassled for her weight on a regular basis and the chick is lucky to see a size 7 on her worst day. Granted, her fashion sense is questionable (her 'mom' jeans made mothers everywhere cringe in horror. Not because they were so darn bad-they were-but because most of us wouldn't have looked half as good in those jeans after a tummy tuck and some Spanx.)


I banned Bratz dolls at our house. Mostly, because they look like streetwalkers but have you ever really looked at a Bratz doll? Is it a coincidence that their heads are five times too large for their bodies? Kind of like your average runway model? They look like bobble heads and my daughters think they are beautiful. Um, they wear black lipliner with pale pink lipstick, which is just so many kinds of wrong that it gives me a headache to think about.

Back to my original point. Headline News actually addressed the size of Barbie's ankles. What a pathetic waste of broadcast time. What is this country coming to if Headline News thought the American public would appreciate this tidbit of information? Now what? Do I wear mom jeans to disguise my ankles? Maybe I'll call Jessica, I hear she's over the search for her lost dog and she finally figured out what Chicken of the Sea is, so maybe she'll have time to chat....