And The Winner Of The "Mommy Dearest" Award Goes To...

(Confucius Say Man Who Stand On Toilet High On Pot......seriously, is that not the funniest thing you've heard in ages?  It kept me in stitches last night.  Actually, there were more, but this is the cleanest one I could come up with.  I think I need to get out more, I'm far too easily amused.)  Now, on to the story....

'Cop Tasers Ten Year Old'  <---click the link.

Remember that incident in Alabama where the lady got busted on video dragging her toddler at warp speed by a leash and later said the kid 'liked' to be dragged across the floor by his neck in the middle of a cell phone store?  I thought that lady deserved an award but this one takes the cake.  This one just blows my mind.


I have a ten year old.  She can be stubborn as a mule when she sets her mind on something. If I ask her to take a shower and she refuses to do so, in my mind I have three choices: 1.  Let it go and move on; 2. Physically pick her up and put her in the tub; or 3. Remove her computer, Nintendo, Wii, cell phone, television, iPod (or whatever else she can't live without) until she complies with my instructions...at which point she's still going to be busted for misbehaving in the first place.  However, some part of me would also take into consideration that there might be a deeper issue involved and that would concern me.  I most certainly wouldn't start threatening her with the cops.

Hey, I admit it, there are days when my kids are moving at a snail's pace and we're in a hurry and it would be kind of nice to have a child-sized cattle prod to get them motivated...but it's not like I'm going to run out and find one.  I also tell my children if they don't behave I'm going to 'hit the ceiling'.  I don't actually do this, however.  One thing I never do, ever, is threaten my kids with the cops.  That's just so wrong it leaves me speechless. 

Mommy Dearest must have been pretty dead-set on getting the little princess into the shower to start threatening her with a call to 9-1-1.  By the way?  I'd really like to hear that call...don't they record them?  What 9-1-1 operator would have wasted the time of a law enforcement officer for this?  What law enforcement officer with a brain in his head would walk into a home and confront a child prostrate on the floor having a tantrum?  Let's take stock of this situation:

1.  Child is loud and possibly stinky but otherwise unharmed.
2.  Child is within the confines of her home so is not disturbing the peace.
3.  Child has not physically harmed anyone in the house, including herself.
4.  Mom suggests cop use taser if he needs to.
5.  Cop threatens to take child to jail.

I don't know about you, but if I were ten and throwing a fit and the cops arrived at my house, I'd be scared shitless.  If my mom suggested the use of electric shock devices by said cop, I'd be hysterical.  If the cop threatened to take me to jail then physically put his hands on me to move me to another room, I'd be completely out-of-control and thinking I was going to the Big House.  My first reaction would be to fight like mad. (This wouldn't be my current method of handling the situation but at ten years old its the standard method for most kids.)  By the way, am I the only one who sees the cop's actions here as intentionally intimidating to the child?  Hello????  Note to idiot cop....YOU'RE AN IDIOT...oh, wait.  I already said that.

The Keystone Kop wound up with a foot to the family jewels, courtesy of hysterical child flailing madly, as he attempted to move her.  Don't think for a second he truly believed tasering the kid was going to be helpful.  No, he'd been kicked in the balls and he was mad as hell.  So what is any self-respecting police officer to do?  Oh! I know!  Pull out the taser, turn off the audio device on his lapel, turn off the video component on the taser and calmly pull the trigger to shock the kid into submission.  Standard Operating Procedure, right?  Please tell me this cop is childless. Please.  I fear for the lives of any future offspring.

Also?  Can you imagine the relationship between mother and daughter after that one?  The mom probably won the shower argument but at the end of the day, the  kid is going to spend the rest of her life remembering the time mom called the cops to come electrocute her.  In the mother's defense (not that she really has one at this point) I'm betting when she told the cop to feel free to use his taser she was saying it to get the kid's attention, not to actually give the idiot cop permission to shock her.  Apparently, said cop wasn't too quick on the uptake and took her, literally, at her word (which tells me he is not fit to be carrying around a loaded weapon of any kind, at any time).

Update:  Kid is in a children's shelter, cop is on suspension (not for using the taser on a child, by the way) but for intenionally turning off the monitoring devices before he actually zapped the kid...which leads me to believe he knew tasering the child was not the proper course of action and that he was doing it for his own personal satisfaction.  I'm thinking if someone could please pull that guy's badge, I'd be ever so grateful.    He and Mommy Dearest can share the award.  Idiots...