Picasso Has Nothing On Allie

I picked Allie up at preschool yesterday and Miss Karina took me aside for a little 'chat'.  Earlier in the day, Allie had gone to her-crying about a 'bad thing' she had done- and Miss Karina figured that whatever it was, guilt had gotten the better of her....I'm not convinced this was case but, since I wasn't there, I'll go with the teacher's interpretation.

"Allie, what's wrong, sweetie?  Miss Karina had asked, alarmed.  (Allie doesn't dissolve into tears on a regular basis.)

"I did something not nice."  Allie said, hanging her head.

"What did you do?"  Miss Karina said and was, no doubt, busy scanning the classroom to see if any other children were crying.  None were.

"When I was at home this morning...I drew a picture of Bryce." 

"Oh.  Did you bring it with you?  Did you want to give it to Bryce?" 

"No!  It was a not-nice picture!" 

"Why was it 'not nice'?"  I'm sure Miss Karina was thinking she'd intentionally colored him green and turned him into a martian or a monster.  Allie doesn't have a history of being particularly kind to little boys who tease her...(last year she had to make apologies to the bigger boys who ransacked her playhouse.  She'd told them if they didn't get out she was going to kill them...I know which boys she was referring to and it was difficult to blame her but I understand we can't let her get into a habit of threatening to 'kill' anyone!)

"I drew Bryce wearing a dress."  Allie said.

"Did you bring the picture to school?"  Miss Karina asked.

"No."

"So Bryce hasn't seen the picture?"

"No.  I think I should probably go tell him I'm sorry."

"Did you tell him about the picture?"  Miss Karina asked.

"No."

"Well, then, I think it would be better if you didn't tell him about that."

"But it was mean."

At this point of Miss Karina's recollection, the wheels in my brain are beginning to turn.  I imagine that as Allie is telling this story, her little clique of friends are deciding which one gets to nark on Allie for drawing the picture in the first place. I'm also guessing Allie was just looking for a laugh  and thought it was a funny story... but then regretted her decision...because clique or no clique...preschoolers are notorious tattletales and she knew it was a matter of time before Lauren or Samantha or Tawny ratted her out.

I could spend all day wondering why Allie drew Bryce wearing a dress.  Upon telling Kevin the story, he thought Allie had done it because she liked Bryce but, since boys are the equivalent of rabid dogs in Allie's world, she couldn't very well hang out with him unless she 'turned him into a girl'.  Makes sense.  If it had been Sophie who drew the picture, I'd agree with the logic.  Allie, on the other hand, was most likely being a turkey because Bryce had made her mad at some point in the not-too-distant past.  I'm almost positive that the picture stayed home ONLY because she'd forgotten it that morning and if it had made it into the classroom, she'd have given it to him.

Miss Karina, however, decided to give Allie the benefit of the doubt and she made a pact with her:  Allie would go home and throw away 'Bryce In A Dress' and draw another picture of Bryce in his jeans.  Miss Karina was hoping I could help Allie find a fresh sheet of paper and her crayons when we got home that day.  While telling me the story, Karina was holding back laughter, struggling to look serious. I  followed her lead and attempted to remain straightfaced (in case Allie was listening to the conversation( but everytime Karina and I looked at eachother we had to fight back waves of laughter. 

Only my four-year-old could have figured out that drawing a boy in a dress was an insult and I think her 'tears' were her attempt at damage control-not shame.  I'm all for 'girl power' but, suddenly, I have this weird feeling that Kindergarten is going to require me to spend a great deal of time in the principals office discussing Allie's behavior.  Lucky me. 

I still haven't found the picture but when I do, I'm uploading it.  Stay tuned.